A quest for fair.
A need for things to be square and symmetrical and right.
Life - real, smelly, vivid life - is none of the above.
And mostly, we're all the better / stronger/ appreciative for it.
Sometimes I get bogged down in the injustice, the unfairness of it all.
Why oh why oh why would such beautiful souls be betrayed by their fit, healthy physical bodies?
Why would a young, innocent girl be catapulted into a foreign world of oncology, fertility issues and hospitalisation while her friends lament a broken fingernail and obsess over the latest tunes?
Why would an actively 'clean' living woman be forced to endure the absolute horror of a miscarriage or stillbirth and then be subjected to walking past a number of dependent women smoking and rubbing their beautiful, big, healthy baby bellies as she heads home with her grief - and leaves her naivety behind?
Sometimes I (mistakenly) think I am the arbitrator of happiness.
I get mystified and depressed that the happiness is not being 'fairly' dispersed around here.
I tend to think I can 'have a word with the management' and sort it out.
When I watch a beautiful friend being knocked down repeatedly by blow after low blow from the universe - I struggle to comprehend. I struggle to keep the faith.
When it comes to those I love, I forget the 'big picture', the 'valuable life lessons', the 'strength we never knew we had' business and I just want to cry foul.
|Living Juicy, SARK 2000|
The universe, my God, whatever you want to believe plays fair and the news is incredibly fabulous.
I went to bed last night so, so smugly satisfied and elated.
I'm giddy with pure joy for my friend who deserves this. She so deserves this.
But then doesn't everyone?
Why isn't there enough happiness and good fortune to go around?
Who's hogging it?