Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tears For Fears

I am blessed, lucky - whichever you choose to believe.
I know it.
I just forget to mention it sometimes.
This little (but oh so big) fact hits home hard sometimes.

Mother's Day, for me, was gorgeous. I have my sweet little Magoo and a hubby who is currently trying to please everyone but us, so is overseas.
But nonetheless, I have a lovely hubby who tries to please people. :-)

My own Mum is bravely rewriting her story each day and hopefully pushing the final chapter further and further back.
My Mum in law is a treasure - a true gift that came with the purchase of Hubby.
My Mum in law's Mum is still pulling her family together for Sunday morning tea and watching her great grandchildren grow.

I must be getting softer as I, ahem 'mature' - and not just around the middle.

So many stories in the media struck me super hard in the lead up to this Mother's Day.
Not because any of them relate directly to my personal experience, or even that of a friend.
They just touch those nerves that become raw and exposed once you hear that racing heartbeat and see that little alien squirming around inside of you.

Today, a Perth Mum is at the her 19 year old son's intensive care bedside. Suffering and struggling with the reality that her boy probably won't be coming home. He'll more than likely not fulfil his dreams, complete his studies or reach his potential on the football field. He won't finally settle down and have those grandchildren she longs to hold. She's surely praying for a miracle and bargaining with God. All because some individual took to him in the early hours of last Sunday morning and despite being a huge, solid guy, he didn't stand a chance.

Despite all her nurturing, her love, her discipline, her commitment and her support - somebody else took it all from her baby and her family in an instant.

On the radio last week, a local station ran a piece about a 23 year old man who had sadly lost his wife about 8 weeks ago. His wife was 37 weeks pregnant.

About here I began hyperventilating and bawling, considering pulling the car to the roadside.

This guy spoke of an unusual condition that for some (horrific) reason caused his heavily pregnant wife's body to completely crash. Their baby girl was delivered by c section while she was on life support and rushed away to our children's hospital.

His wife remained in another hospital, unresponsive to any tests and showing little, and finally, no brain function.
This awesome young guy has a beautiful little baby girl - but no wife, no partner to share the precious ride with..

I shed some tears for this guy, parenting the best he can at the moment and I shed so many tears for his wife.
For all that she has missed already.
I shed some tears for their daughter and all that she will never know.

Did I mention I am blessed?
I am certainly not under the illusion that I am indispensable (I can barely cook, for goodness sake), but I am plagued by that common 'Mummy fear' that something will happen to me, or worse still my 'people'.

So, I take  *'too many' photos, buy 'too many' gifts, give 'too many' cuddles, throw around 'too many' "I love you"s...
I can live with that.

I don't ever want to cause Magoo and Hubby real life, heart aching pain.
I don't want to miss what is in store for our little family.
I don't want to miss a second of Magoo's antics, his achievements, his slips ups and his successes - let alone a lifetime's worth.

I hope that your Mother's Day was one to cherish.
But, you know, yesterday and tomorrow are just as special.

Squeeze em every chance you get! x
Shar :-)

*There is no such thing as 'too many', for the record.


Tenille @ Help!Mum said...

I know what you mean. I don't know what it is about becoming a Mum; you become really conscious of the fragility of life.

This is a lovely post, and I absolutely agree; there's no such thing as too many, especially when it comes to hugs and I love you's.

Aakriti said...

Heya know I just realized that we take not only things for granted but also "Life" for granted!and yes every moment something terrible or the other is happening to ppl around the globe even as I write this...thank you for this post, I really feel greatful for everything I have and I am
from Weekend Rewind

Jaimee Hunter said...

beautifully touching...I am blessed too

Photographer Mum said...

I too am blessed. I have those same fears that something bad will happen to me, my husband or the kids. I don't want to miss anything of their childhood or achievements in their lives as they grow into adults.
Great post, and thank you for reminding me how blessed I am
Visiting from the Rewind

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

Oh wow, this gave me goosebumps. Yes, I am blessed.

Visiting from the REwind.

MultipleMum said...

I am struck by how many 'Mums' you have in your life and then realised that I do too! So blessed. Thanks for Rewinding Shar x

Jane said...

Oh Shar, I *get* this post, especially after surviving my first Fathers' Day last week without my Dad. Counting my blessings now means even more to me. J x

Tai Tai said...

Hey Shar. Popping over from WW. What a gorgeous post! Those stories are horrific but at least it makes us all realise how lucky we all are and how life is too short to take it for granted! I'm your newest follower. Looking forward to reading more from your blog! B x