Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Blame Game

The Blame Game.
An old favourite suitable for all ages and any number of players.
Go on, share the blame love with your family this Christmas.
I think it might be inherent to pass the buck, point the finger, lay the blame at someone else's feet.
I see it continuously as a knee jerk reaction in children.
"_____ made me do it."
"He did it first."
"I wasn't the only one."
"You didn't say we couldn't."

But adults don't have blame immunity.
I do it without meaning to, most of the time.

How many times have you stubbed your toe or knocked your shin and immediately looked around for the culprit who placed that offensive coffee table/bed end right where it has always been?

We love to blame.
Milli Vanilli blamed it on the rain. So do we.
We blame it on the weather, the traffic, our parents, the government, the youth of today, schools, the indigenous, the refugees, the cop who dared to fine me for breaking the law, Lady Gaga, those idiotic Supre ads...

Marriage has not seen me retire from the blame game but it has (slowly) taught me to play it more fairly and less vocally.

Age is teaching me that for every blame action there is an equal blame reaction.
Stones, glass houses and all that.
She who is without fault... doesn't exist.

As a society we're engaging more and more in the blame game.
Our elected leaders are highly accomplished players.

Make an irresponsible or unwise decision and unfortunately suffer the consequences?
Then sue somebody for goodness sake.
Surely there should have been a sign warning you not to climb up to that level and swing precariously from the edge?

We don't seem to want to man (or woman) up and take responsibility for our actions if we can pass the blame ball instead.

Own a dog and you never have to fess up to any bodily emissions ever again.
(I wonder if they turn the tables and blame us when they're down the park with other hounds - "sorry guys, it's my owner. Her house reeks and she puts those sweaty hands all over me."

Have children and you have your very own miniature blame scapegoat right there.
You can blame the state of your health, house, finances, relationships, mental health, liver or general life satisfaction on those babies.

But be warned - their teachers (and that cranky woman with the evil eyes at the check out) are blaming you!

And on it goes...

Life isn't fair.
Bad things, really bad things, happen to good people.
Sometimes there's no one to blame.
Most of the time, it doesn't change anything anyway.

We can't control so many aspects of our world.
But we can control our thoughts, words and (re)actions.

Do you play the blame game too?

Shar :-)


Mama of 2 boys said...

Awesome post Shar and something I give much thought to, often. It is something I am actually very conscious of these days. My Dad is a massive blame game player, always has been. It's taken me literally years to break that cycle I had grown up in. Because the funny thing about blame, it is very addictive and so much easier than looking long and hard at oneself. I actually have my lovely hubby to thank for slowly working it out of me, because if it's one thing he doesn't do, it's blame other people for his faults or mistakes. I guess I still play it to an extent, but I'm getting there, work in progress ;o) xo

Toni said...

This is something I too am becoming more aware of -- and I'm trying very hard to accept accountability and pass it along to the kiddies, so they learn they are the ones in charge of their own lives, feelings etc.

Good post!! thought provoking.

Karla {Ironmum Karla} said...

Spot on miss! No one to blame but yourself, is my motto. So easy to turn and look for someone else to pass the buck on but it is not going to achieve a damn thing. My mum is always blaming my poor dad, but it is such a habit now...we all just laugh when we see it in action.

Have a great christmas and look forward to catching up again next week.

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh wow, i'm actually not a big blame'r as i am normally at fault as i might be super smart on paper & able to create things with fine details, but i am clumsy to the core & i like showing my children that i left the heat on the stove & ruined dinner, i'm not perfect & that is so TOTALLY Ok. I'm also insanely patient. My blaming of myself routine, goes mainly to my children's mental health of imperfection is fun, cool, silly & for goodness sakes, give yourself a break. Ok, so i don't have car accidents or burn the house down but i keep a tidy floor so i try not to trip over things & i am the Queen of toe stubbing.
As for my marriage, i married my teen love & as we grew up together & added one, twins, 4 babies to our world, i really backed off competing with him, as we're a team, this is why we have few fights, we're SO comfortable with ourselves, each other & how we agree to raise the children. Trust me, plenty of room for tension as he lives away for 4 years & i'll just say it, he came from a completely cold & bonkers family (love that Christmas highlights this).
When i started reading this i immediately thought of politicians & celebrities, "the trashy woman made me have an affair" stupidity of it all . . . i studied psych at Uni first, then sociology, very conflicting, you're to blame, no society is to blame, just so long as our children don't blame we wonderful mummies, i'll be happy.
I love listening to teacher's judgements though, so many have the children each day for longer than the parents, enough said, they KNOW your child!! Love Posie

Thea said...

Perfect post for this time of year.
I'm always telling my boy things aren't always someone's fault. He's always looking for someone to blame. I hope he doesn't get it from me...no, it must be his father (ooops, see what I did there?)

Jane said...

A ripper post, Shar. Ah, the dreaded *blame game* is something I hear in stereo every day from the pixies. And now that Joshie's on holidays, I expect to hear it for the next two months. About 50 times a day. *Sigh*. Wish me luck...J x

Romina Garcia said...

What a profound post, (and funny too, I lol-led at the reference to Milli Vanilli). This year has been quite a significant one in my life. While I still love to blame my husband for all the silly little things (he's aware that even if he didn't do it, it's still his fault) - I have become more aware and in tune with my life decisions.