Saturday, February 5, 2011

Trust Me, I'm a Mum

I've learnt a few things since being a Mum.
I'd say I've learnt so many things that I now possess almost 0.004% of the knowledge I need.

Most of it I've learnt from other Mums or experience.

Hee hee. Right here I probably thought I knew
most of what I would need to know.
Yes, that is 5 different positive pregnancy tests
 - but that's a whole nother story.

I've learnt that (for me) :
  • those swim nappies do not provide any flippin protection if your child actually dares to poo in them.
  • no matter what colour you paint the nursery or how beautiful it is, you still don't wanna spend entire nights in there.
  • babies don't read 'Contented, Save My Sleep, Make Me Feel Even Worse' books or even what Google says.
  • nipple shields suck
  • sleep is a whole complex science of cycles and stages and is a wonderful thing when it happens unaided.
  • there are way too many bottles and teats on the market. Sleep deprived, late night pharmacy runs and such a variety of 'consumer choices' do not gel.
  • my husband can actually fit the car seat as competently and safely as the dude in the special "if you love your child, you'll pay us to do it" car seat fitters.
  • babies and toddlers are individuals - and that's a-okay.
  • state development centre physios who tell a first time Mum "I'll be surprised if he ever walks with those joints of his" are to be ignored. She was partly right - Magoo doesn't walk much, he runs full pelt.
  • it's also a-okay to want a little patch of guilt free, child free time in each twenty four hour period - even if it is just a shower's worth.
  • you do (eventually) cook a half decent meal again, clean that fridge, get to the hairdresser, gym, beautician, girls' dinner, AA meeting (kidding)... of course, not without some planning that closely resembles a major military operation
  • that if it walks like an ear infection, talks like an ear infection, cries like an ear infection, falls like an ear infection, reddens like an ear's probably an ear infection.
  • there's a reason children were raised in villages. I am ever so grateful to the amazing women (and one particular ENT guy) in my 'village'.
  • that I would move heaven and earth for my little family, without batting an eyelid
  • that puppy training and toddler behaviour management (or mismanagement) are not that dissimilar. Establish 'top dog' early, get down to their level, use your tone of voice, be firm, concise and consistent. Could probably add clean up their poo, feed regularly and cuddle lots.
  • I don't like cold tea, but I sure do like cold wine.
Right, so here, in the early stages of labour
I'd probably realised that I knew only some stuff.
But most of all, I've learnt that as a Mum, it's important to
trust your instincts.

Like when you know it's time to get your poor, hitting-the-wall child out of here, but people insist you stay a bit longer and then you have an overtired, hysterical little one on your hands for the night.

Like when I repeatedly told nurses, lactation consultants, docs & anyone else in earshot that breastfeeding felt like poisoning my child.
After 3 months Magoo took charge and just plain refused it. He was later diagnosed with an allergy to the proteins in milk.
Sorry Breatsfeeding Australia & any other alarmed party - just saying 'cause that was my experience, not trying to stop anyone else. :-)

Like when I repeatedly told nurses, docs & specialists that my boy couldn't breathe, sleep or drink PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THE TIME and they waited 5 long months before realising he needed two corrective surgeries in his throat and nose.
(I'm not bitter at all, really!)
Yep, reckon I didn't give a rats what I did
and didn't know here!
 Like when something tells you to get out of the shower and see what all this eerie silence is about.

Like when you move cups, plates, cutlery, condiments, salt & peppers shakers etc. out of reach without thinking about it or skipping a beat in converation.

Like when you can tell before the fact which toys, events or broken promises are going to cause arguments and/or meltdowns.

Like when only you can decipher their early language (aka gobble-dee-gook) because you know what your bub wants before they do.

Like when I took Magoo for the flu vaccine  - against my better judgement - and then spent the night in hospital with a convulsing toddler before watching the silly thing be recalled nationally.

Like when you can see your child tripping, falling, bumping, slipping... a millisecond before they do.
But you still can't stop it - just mop it.

Like when you know when to step back and let your child take some risks, make some discoveries for themselves and rock some independence.

Like when  ...   you get the idea!
By this point, I was getting the nightly
bulletins that I didn't know squat.
 Who knows? Mum knows.
She just doesn't always know that she knows.

Apologies for the cyber highlighter action - I couldn't sort it out. 
My instincts are saying "let it go, you've procrastinated from school work long enough."

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