Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Telltale Signs Part 2 : The Reflection

Sooo, yesterday was a roller coaster.
Nobody was hurt or maimed riding  the ' Boy's Birthday Comedown' , but I certainly did not want to ride again after alighting from the carriage last night. 

The problem is I know that I was a huge contributor to yesterday's angst.
Not by engaging with Magoo's frustration or taking the bait when he was ridiculously unreasonable (surprisingly).
I didn't pay attention to the warning signs that the little man was posting along the way to Meltdown city.

I have written about how Magoo is my reminder to slow down and live in the moment before.
I thrive on being busy, productive and social.
We have been insanely busy, productive and social lately.

Magoo has coped remarkably well with a whirlwind few months and I'm thinking yesterday was the culmination of serious overstimulation on his part.
The life I have created for him, for us, is too much for him.
If that indicates that my boy belongs on some spectrum somewhere, so be it.
(Or indicates that I belong in an institution somewhere, so be that too.)

I was disappointed with Magoo's behaviour for most of playgroup yesterday  - when he went from being a normal, law abiding, tax paying citizen of Tantrumtown to being the self appointed Mayor in a matter of minutes.

But, maybe he was disappointed in me for not listening when he specifically told me he did not want to go to playgroup. When in my infinite motherly wisdom I thought "he'll be fine when we get there".

Or maybe it was the fact that I dragged him to four different places to buy more stamps, mail thank yous, deliver presents and return property - before arriving at playgroup.
Hmmm. Take the pedal off the metal , Mum.

It's time to pull back and remove some of the useless 'busyness' from our life.
From Magoo's life.
Time to make play doh while the sun shines.

There'll be a time when he'll spend his days being 'busy' with other people and I'll crave some down time with my boy. I can run around like a headless chook to my heart's content then.

Even I am feeling the pinch of the pace I've set here.
I've lost a little running mojo and don't wake up looking forward to hitting the road.
I literally crawled onto the couch and dozed for a few minutes yesterday evening, before I'd even put Magoo to bed.
This does not happen here.
The only time it ever has, I was in the early stages of pregnancy with Magoo.
It's so rare that, yes, I tested and no, I'm not.

So... Spring Steps...
  • chill the heck out
  • get back to basics
  • stop overplanning and  super cramming our week
  • ignore those sweet little smears on the window/tv screen for now
  • limit outings, play dates and social activities to one a day where possible
  • go to bed earlier
  • say 'no thank you' occasionally to some parties,  invitations, requests.
  • stay at home, for goodness sake (without inviting the world over)
  • set two nights a week only for school work/committee meetings
  • let Magoo set the pace and direction of our day at least once a week

Any tips on 'finding the balance'?

Wishing you a happy feet kinda day.

Shar :-)


Mama of 2 boys said...

Oh Shar, I take my hat off to you for looking into some reasons behind Magoo's behaviour, rather than just beating your head against a wall with him. I found this post so interesting, as this is a topic that I play over and over in my head so often... just how much is too much for our children to process. I always notice the difference in the boys if we have a fairly high paced week. Daycare for 2 days is a prime example. The day after their daycare stint is rarely a good one... and such a shame that just so happens to be Sat.
As for socialising, I have pulled that right back too. I now limit it to either a morning play date/outing or an afternoon one. Of course birthday parties or special occasions are different. But as a general rule, I just try to stick to routine... and definitely the night routine. Taking the boys out at night is a shocker for all of us. Kind of rocks the social life, having children. Good luck with your new changes, hope they make a difference :o) xo

Peggy said...

I agree with Julie, it's fantastic that you're looking at the triggers rather than simply blaming Magoo for his behaviour. Let's face it, we as adults act differently when we're peeved or tired.

I love your spring steps, I too have my own little list of tools to keep me sane. Over-committing is easy to do but can impact on our littlies and our health and well-being. Every so often it's good to just be in the moment and breathe.

Good on you Shar, you're an intuitive and very sensible Mum. :)