Monday, September 19, 2011

A Newlywed With An Apology

Six weeks today...
A milestone.
The longest stretch of time without one - or both - or all of us in my little family being airborne and away from home in many, many, many months.

For some people this is the norm.
Not us.

I've beaten myself up this year over my discomfort with being apart from my husband for long or indefinite periods of time.

Lots of women 'hold down the fort' very capably for a lot longer than I've ever had to and with more children, greater workloads and less support than I have.

But I'm working towards acceptance of the fact that
a) it's not just the inconvenience of solo parenting such as missing running group, committee meetings, or anything after 7pm that bugs me by week two.
b) it's not only the responsibilty or emotional toll of being on my own that wears me down after a while.

c) it's not the dog poo scooping that irks me most.
d) Mostly I miss my Hubby, my teammate, my partner when he's not here and that's okay.

I have noticed that in recent posts I have been dropping a lot of "Hubby"s.
"Hubby did this... Hubby did that... Hubby says this... Hubby says that..."
Sickening stuff, really.

It reminds me of the early days of a crush or a relationship when you (supposedly subtley) keep dropping the person's name into conversations randomly and make all sorts of (supposedly valid) excuses to walk past their locker/bus stop/home/office.

At times earlier this year the only mentions poor Hubby got in this space were in the context of my distaste for solo parenting while he travelled at the drop of a hat for his new role at work.

My marriage was certainly nowhere near over.
We're both too stubborn for that.
But we had become accustomed to a serious level of independence and were going down the path of two (usually) polite adults cohabitating and sharing one single commonality - in the form of an adorable little boy (okay, two - the sweet boy and the mortgage). 

Since Magoo and I returned from Ireland six weeks ago, Hubby and I seem to have found a new passion for one another, for our marriage and for our little family's future.
It's been beautiful.

We are back to hand holding, snuggling on the couch, making genuine eye contact, bothering to actually share our day's news, making Magoo uncomfortable with PDAs, actually listening to each other, appreciating each other's efforts, choosing to put one another before the rest of the world, cracking pathetic jokes and remembering what it is we love about one another.

Bluuuugh. I know.

If my constant references to Hubby have caused you to vomit into your keyboard or sprain an optic nerve rolling your eyes, I apologise - but accept no liability.
I will, however, provide you with a lovely plastic vomit catcher thing free of charge if you email me your details. I'm all heart.

Hey, we all know that six weeks is usually the 'honeymoon' period of hormone induced bliss for any major life changing event (ie.marriage, babies, new jeans)  - so I may be back to Hubby indifference sometime soon.
I sincerely hope not though.

Loved Up Shar


Corinne – Daze of My Life said...

What a gorgeous post! I hope that honeymoon period stretches into a lifetime xxx

Peggy said...

Oh I don't find it vomit-inducing at all, I too gush about my hubby all the time (maybe not on my blog...yet). That's very sweet, enjoy the second honeymoon. I hope it continues on for years to come. xo

Kate Sins said...

nothing wrong with being all loved-up, tis lovely in fact. and lovely lovely lovely to read about it.

i go through phases.. gush, lament, gush, lament... am too in a gushy period...

may you have a wonderful, loooooooook marriage xx

Cherie @ 'a baby called Max' said...


Enjoy :) even if it is only 6 weeks, but I'm thinking it's lifetime stuff right there :)

It'd be so easy to fall into the trap of becoming 2 independent people who happen to share a mortgage, & a child.

Good in you both for taking the time to cuddle on the couch, & crack ridiculous jokes :)


Mama of 2 boys said...

Oh this is fabulous Shar... and you are so right, we were on a similar tangent with our posting last night :o)
I SO know where you're coming from here too. 3 nights away and it's incredible the effect it has had on my affection for my hubby. I get it, when you refer to just 'existing' together for a common purpose. It is so easy to slip into that cycle. Nobody's fault, it's just life as we know it these days. But for the first time in ages, I found myself 'wanting' to instigate a kissy or a cuddle these last 24 hours or so. AMAZING! and probably completely irksome to anyone witnessing ;o) Glad you're all loved up and well... loving it! xo