Monday, May 21, 2012

How Far Is Too Far??

Asking most parents just how far they would go for their child/ren is akin to asking the age old
'how long is a piece of string?'
'To infinity and beyond' doesn't even begin to cover it,  Buzz.

Unfortunately, in my line of work, I've seen occasions where that all-consuming fierce urge to protect one's child can move into the unhealthy zone.
When that beautiful, unrivalled love can make a parent completely lose perspective and reason.

When, unfortunately, intense emotions can result in actions that are actually to the detriment of a child's well being, socialisation, education or resilience.
I think most teachers vow that they never want to be 'that' parent, cross 'that' line.
But it's such a faint line.

When it comes to my son's health, my instincts go into overdrive.
I'm not phased by teeth, colds, coughs and tummy bugs etc. etc. etc.
They're just a part of childhood  - and life.
 But, when there's something ' just not right' - those flashing red lights take root in my mind.
I cannot be complacent, easygoing or patient.
I won't just 'wait and see' or 'try not to think about it'.

I behave differently than the person I am.
This woman who would rather wait ten minutes than speak up, who isn't confident enough to change lanes in the supermarket queue or on the freeway if it might disturb someone, who can't be assertive in social situations, who avoids conflict like the plague - she morphs into someone else. 

A Mama.
A Mama who won't take a seat and shooosh.
A Mama who will try every avenue and resource available.
A Mama who will keep going until she's heard and her son is seen/treated.

Occasionally, I feel a twang of something - maybe guilt or self consciousness - about how pro-active I am in, proverbially, pushing every door until one opens.
However, past experiences have shown me that there's no shame in advocating and fighting for your child's health.
Unfortunately, it's almost necessary.
What's a bit of my dignity  - if it saves my child(ren) pain or trauma or worse?

Someone in the health system recently commented that, sadly, it's those who shout the loudest that get the attention we all deserve.
It's my responsibility to get a little shouty (not literally if I can help it!) on behalf of my child then, isn't it?

I read in Saturday morning's paper of a woman who neglected her bub's health so badly that a perfectly healthy child is now blind, quadriplegic and suffering seizures.
Her only explanation is that she was "too lazy" to seek treatment for her child.

I may be like a bull at a (specialists office) gate sometimes, but no matter what, my children (and Hubby) will know that I leave nothing to chance and that I am far from "lazy" in my care for them.

So, how far is too far to go for your kids?

Shar :-)


Miss Mandy said...

keep shouting, keep shouting.

javajane2011 said...

Well done... don't change that for a bit!

I think I would find that inner spark in me to fight for the health of my child... its but of that instinct that i think is in "most" of us!

Keep fighting - and hope everything is ok : ) xx

Teresa said...

You can't go too far for your child's health, Shar. I bet your advocacy is still delivered with more grace than you realise. But even if it wasn't it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is your precious Mr Magoo. Thinking of you xox

Nat - Muddy Farmwife said...

The squeaky wheel gets the grease Shar, keep fighting as hard as you can, for as long as you need. Trust your instincts.

Tales of a Tai Tai said...

It's NEVER too far. Children don't have a loud enough voice so they need their parents to use theirs. And you can sleep well knowing you're doing everything you can for your little ones. Thinking of you xx

Mama of 2 boys said...

I don't think 'too far' can be defined when it comes to our children Shar. They are THE most precious things we will ever have and every Mama absolutely has the right to fight tooth and nail to get answers or to be seen and heard or simply to receive peace of mind. And if peace of mind is all that we receive, then that is a good day. The alternatives are so much worse and how awful would we feel if we hadn't gone the extra mile for the sake of keeping the status quo.
No my friend, you are in the right here, every step of the way.
I often liken myself to the big cats when it comes to my boys, ferociously protective. Nothing wrong with it.
Thinking of you and sending plenty of love xoxo

Leesa @ loveteaandme said...

Hello. I am new to reading your blog, a powerful post. Motherhood has brought out an assertive side of myself I didn't know existed! Best wishes, I am learning that my Mummy instinct is a very powerful thing! I hope you get the answers you are looking and hoping for!

Posie Patchwork said...

You are a mother lion & your cub needs answers, you are his voice & don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise, especially those freaking awful specialist receptionists!! They think they are MORE important than the specialist. I've never had to see one for my child, but for myself & LORDY i don't take their crap. Words like "it's your job" & "I'm paying a lot of money" normally adjust their attitude. Say it loudly too, you'll get applause from the waiting room, filled with people who have been waiting for ages & listening to the way those receptionists talk down to everyone. Then the specialists are normally so lovely, you think 'what is with the toxic environment out there' then you discover it's his wife??!! Ooppss, love Posie

Sonia LifeLoveandHiccups said...

When it comes to your childs health, I dont believe there is such a things as too far. Keep pushing hun, one of the biggest gifts us mums are given is the strength to fight for out children. xx

Kate Sins said...

I don't know what too far is - perhaps to the detriment of your own or another person's health? But yes, as your child's parent you are responsible for giving them a voice until they are old enough to do so for themselves, and you know what even after they are of legal age I'm pretty sure you will continue to try.

Keep pushing and shouting, Magoo needs you to do it for him xoxoxo