Ladies, are you 'looking after' yourself in the midst of all that 'looking after' everybody else?
Are you in the Martyr Mummy Brigade - 'cause, you know, that's just how it is - suck it up and keep on keeping on?
Are you waiting until tonight/tomorrow/next week/your birthday/next year/school age/when the kids leave home... to do that something for you?
Uh huh. Me too. Guilty, your honour.
This week one of the fittest, healthiest women I know has had a scare.
A scary scare - that has me reeling.
And wanting to send each and every one of my beautiful girlfriends off on a mini break.
Yes, we can't 'afford' to get sick - so we convince ourselves we're not.
Yes, we can't 'afford' to drop any of the balls - so we run ourselves ragged.
Yes, no one else will do it if we don't - so we do it.
Yes, so-and-so manages even more than us - so we can't possibly ask for/accept help.
Will it take a serious kick in the visible panty line to make us prioritise our own health and happiness though?
Of course our families, partners and children need us.
They need us alive and kicking.
Healthy and happy.
I dare you (and I ) to...
- Ignore the dust and have a cuppa.
- Use the creche/neighbour/family member and schedule that exercise/pedicure/dance class/coffee break.
- Put eggs on toast on the dinner menu.
- Make that doctor's appointment - for you.
- Say no occasionally.
- Close the bathroom door.
- Ask for a hand.
- Offload some guilt - and any unnecessary energy sappers.
- Demand a day off - and find a way to make it happen.
- Be your own best friend - and heed the advice you would give her.
I say all of this as I look down at my lists of lists of lists - so please do as I say, not as I do!
I'm also slightly intoxicated by that extra freedom, chill and luxury that the first week of [baby free] maternity leave brings. Direct me here in a month's time, won't you?
Make ungainly descent from soapbox, catch breath, re-adjust knickers.
Shar :-)
9 comments:
Annnnd...take time to say thank you for everything. It puts you in a great mind set to handle your day. I wrote about losing yourself in your childrens lives and in your co workers and or husbands, it's so easy to do! Hold on to you! Say thank you for ass many things as you can think of before you put your feet on the floor everyday. It adds a little joy...
Ahh...great reminders! I have given myself the gift of real coffee this morning. I think the kids' brekkie can wait until I have a second cup ;)sarah
I find it comes & go, i'm no martyr & refuse to feel guilt when my family is happy, well fed, in clean clothes/ sheets/ bedrooms & i'm doing my best. Why, who exactly is judging us?? I loved breastfeeding, only time i sat down but i loved it, i miss it. I've been home alone for many years since my 4th started school & trust me, i'm revelling in it, sewing, blogging, going to the gym, so long as the house is clean & tidy, food organised, i can totally take care of myself. Love Posie
I find it comes & go, i'm no martyr & refuse to feel guilt when my family is happy, well fed, in clean clothes/ sheets/ bedrooms & i'm doing my best. Why, who exactly is judging us?? I loved breastfeeding, only time i sat down but i loved it, i miss it. I've been home alone for many years since my 4th started school & trust me, i'm revelling in it, sewing, blogging, going to the gym, so long as the house is clean & tidy, food organised, i can totally take care of myself. Love Posie
I'm definitely not a Martyr - but it took me a while (ok so 4 kids later) to get to this place. You have to look after yourself first. Really. I have been unwell lately with the Flu and now full blown Sinusitis and I have had to drop everything to get better asap. I've pretty much had to do everything on your list (great list!) and I'm not one bit guilty but I'm still not really comfortable either watching the chaos and mess pile up around me.Enjoy this last little phase before the new bubba arrives - such a nice time. I'm sooooo excited for you! Mel xx
hmm, I would love to think I could do everything on your list but I highly doubt this...but I do let go in other ways, make sure I get some time to chill and take stock. I hope your friend is ok?x
I'm a classic martyr Shar, I'll openly admit that. Though I don't actually lord it over anyone either. I just get on and do what I have to do... without asking for help. I think your words of advice and tips for looking after ourselves are fantastic. I agree so wholeheartedly. But I always believe that I will get to all of that, once the boys are older... Hmmm, I don't believe myself either!
Though I have to say what my sweet friend is going through right now, with her health battle, has definitely shaken me up. We take our health for granted so often as women and mothers.
xo
I love these blogs they are sooo helpful. I started one myself because finding your voice can be so theraputic. I have 3 boys and 4 golden retievers, a husband and an 88 yr. old mother. I am a stylist and educator and I need to find the best way of making it all work. Please look at my blog and give me your thoughts I am following many of you and enjoy hearing what you have to say so much! Have an amazing day! www.lifelogfriends.blogspot.com
great post, hun!
I found myself recoiling in horror at some of the suggestions and then questioning why I was so horrified?
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