Sunday, June 10, 2012

Who The Hell Are You?

In this month's Fresh Horses Brigade, Eden is asking
Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade- who the hell are you?'

I, for one, don't have a definitive answer.

Some days I don't have a clue what defines me anymore.

Motherhood?
My marriage?
My job?
My home or (lack of) wealth?
My Irish heritage?
The way I treat others?
My looks?
My love for my friends?
The company I keep?
My OCD tendencies?
My fondness for a a glass of bubbly and a wedge of cheese?
My need to be liked?
???????????

I wouldn't know which box I fit neatly into.
Primarily because I don't.
I'm pretty sure I've got an awkwardly balanced limb in multiple boxes most of the time.

Hey, right now my shape isn't conducive to getting in and out of any  silly boxes anyway!

According to this bloggy spot, I'm a Mum and a runner.
A teacher and a waffler.

Is that it?
I don't know.

I do know that I'm a contradiction.

I'm fiercely independent - but often all I want is someone to take care of me for a change.

I love my Aussie lifestyle, but I miss my Irish roots and family.

I'm fit and healthy - but more than happy to devour a family block of chocolate in one sitting.

Sometimes I'm incredibly passionate about a cause, sometimes a complete fence sitter.

I'm not a girly girl at all. But I get excited about gorgeous things and love pretty?

I'm brave and bold - but so incredibly fraidy cat of failure.

I love that Hubby and I make a terrific team, though some days all I want is to do my own thing, at my own pace, in my own way.

I'm a go-getter, an active person - who sometimes can't find the motivation/energy to bring the washing in.

I'm a planner, a details person. Yet, I shrink away from making decisions for others.

I love clothing, shopping, coordinating - but never feel fashionable.

I'm strong, capable - physically and mentally. But when my family is threatened I crumble on the inside (and eventually the cracks starting showing on the outside!).

I'm highly social - but often stupidly shy, awkward, self conscious and uncomfortable in social settings.

I derive ridiculous satisfaction from choosing and giving gifts, but feel equally merry when buying myself a little something.

I'm house proud but the layer of dust coating the top of my dryer is shameful and our study is comparable to a bomb site.

I love the feeling of cooking or baking something delicious for my family - but also feel that a bbq chook and supermarket salad is a perfectly reasonable meal.

I'm over sensitive to other's criticism, but am sarcastic myself.

I hate that this post is choc - o -block full of "I", "I'm", me, me. me, me", but I'm writing it anyway!

I want to be a great wife and mother. It's a privilege. But I want to be Shar too.

Mostly though, I'm all about striving for balance.
I neeeed symmetry like my three year old neeeeds babycinos - so being a walking, talking contradiction is a-okay with me.

So, who the hell are you anyway???

Shar :-)

11 comments:

Jen R said...

Yep its all about the balance Shar xx

Jen R said...

Yep its all about the balance Shar xx

Jen R said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jane said...

A ripper, Gorgeous. Loving the extra insights into you! J x

Simone - honeyandfizz said...

I can so relate to this xx

Mama of 2 boys said...

You could have written this post about me Shar, I am a complete contradiction... and it's really confusing at times. But I think most people could fall into that category... it would be so boring if there was no variation to our personalities and moods.
Lovely post xo

Nat - Muddy Farmwife said...

So True. I am a walking contradiction, and I really do think it is all about symmetry! Totally get where you're coming from Shar.

Maxabella said...

Contradiction IS balance, Shar. You go so well. x

Peggy said...

This is brilliant! I was thinking how much I feel this way about myself too, house proud but can't be assed cleaning etc, spot on for me too Shar.

I agree with Bron, contradiction is balance. You're balanced in my eyes. :) xo

Posie Patchwork said...

Love you honey, if we all had to crack our heads open i think almost everyone is left & right, up & down on almost everything, striving for balance. Love Posie

Coal Valley View said...

Love it Shar! And Irish - who knew? Love learning more about you. Full of contradictions here too when I really think about it - it's what makes the world go round :-)