Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Could We Be Breaking Up?

Dear Work,

I hate to pull out an old cliche - but... it's not you, it's me.

You see, I've changed.
Things have changed.
I'm not the person I used to be and my priorities are completely different.
The chemistry that was once between us has faded somewhat.

After six weeks apart, we should be inseparable by now.
Absence and hearts and all that.
But we're not.

I'll just come out and say it...
I'm avoiding you.
My efforts, when I make them, are half hearted.
I'm sorry.

Yes, you used to complete me.
Yes, I was willing to spend every spare moment in your company.
Yes, I happily spent wads of cash on making you beautiful, colourful and oh-so-organised.
It was good. We were good.
Better than good. Passionate and energetic great.

But it's different, now.
Isn't it?
You must feel it too. Surely?

That lovin' feeling is just not what it used to be.
I still love you, I'm just not IN love with you.

At the end of a beautiful day with my son and Hubby, the thought of running into your arms no longer excites me.
You see, now they complete me.

I'll admit I've been thinking about other options too.
You were the be-all and end-all.
But now I can see myself with others, enjoying a different life.

Don't just sit there.
Say something.

But maybe it's not all me.

Dare I say, maybe you have taken me for granted over the past thirteen years?
Neglected me.
Failed to see what my needs were.
Asked more and more of me with each passing year.

Look, work, we're in this now.
I know that when the kids come along this will improve.
We'll be so busy, we'll barely notice the time pass.

Maybe this is just a phase, a funk, for us.
I've made a commitment and I'll see it through, make the best of it.
For the kids, you know.

With love and guilt, lots of guilt.
Shar :-)


Teresa said...

Hope you guys 'work it out', for the kids sake if nothing else ;)

Glad you have enjoyed such a great break with Mr Magoo and Mr MOTR.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like time for a change is in the wind....look for the signs and follow you gut instict :)

Thea said...

That's exactly the time frame I no longer felt the love. I still wasn't a mum by that stage but it was all I wanted to be. So I quit. And then 1 1/2 years later I did become a mum. And I never wanted to go back to teaching...ever again. Guess what? I was back after 8 years...relief teaching. But we're having a lovely far.
Hope you work out what you want...and get it!

Karla {Ironmum Karla} said...

Oh dear, the fire is gone?

Perhaps with a little time together it might rekindle?

13 years is a long time...a natural feeling I am sure.x

Mama of 2 boys said...

Work dumped me last year Shar and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. So I can relate to this post... even though you are the heartbreaker in your relationship. Never any harm in exploring your options remember... there are plenty more... er, fish(?) in the sea ;o) xo

Nat - Muddy Farmwife said...

Great post and rings very true for me, and I don't have to go back til August!
Don't feel any guilt! Enjoy each moment with your family you can!

Peggy said...

Living in the moment, I love it! I envy girls half my age not devoting so much time to their work, I would never have even considered working part time or a 9 day fortnight or 4 day week in my 20s. And now that I want to my circumstances don't favour it. oh well, one day.

If the love is gone it may very well be time to turn your focus more towards something else. :) And that wouldn't be so bad at all. xo

Lee said...

I think its very hard to parent small people and give 100% commitment to a job. I am probably breaking every rule in the book saying that, but there I said it. For me I think the fire will return perhaps when the kids are at school or something.
I love this post. x

MultipleMum said...

You are a funny bugger x

Miss Mandy said...

I am not a teacher, but I absolutely feel this way about my job. So much more appealing stuff going on under my nose at home! let me know what the magic answer is will you.

danneromero said...

Cute, to the point post. :D

Coal Valley View said...

Love it. Hilarious! Bet you feel better already. These feelings are oh so normal once kids come along. I broke up with work almost 8 years ago. Completely. I had a guilty feeling for a few years because the relationship was just abandoned (by me). Maybe I should have written it a proper letter to sort through these feelings :-)

Sonia @ Life Love and Hiccups said...

OMG We are soooo on the same page at the moment. I feel EXACTLY the same. I start back on Monday and I am soooo dreading it. At night I lie awake thinking about what I would like to do instead and I am seriously at a loss. I am hoping it is just a phase too. xxx

Naomi said...

Ah, it's a tricky thing isn't it. I have a love hate relationship with it. Always have.
I hade four years off when the kids were little... and sometimes I day dream about not working. But I think perhaps I'd miss it.... maybe...
Here's to a new year, new kids.. and Easter holidays! :)