Thursday, January 27, 2011

Whoze Dat Guuuy?

Magoo is nearly two and a half.
He is the single biggest achievement in my life (maybe only until I kick that marathon's butt! kidding) and the other morning he looked up at a wedding photo of my Dad and I.

He pointed up and said "Mummy, whoze dat guuuy?".
I nearly cried. Lie. I did cry.
Didn't get married in a pink jacket & scarf  in a tiny Irish pub
but taking the wedding photo down,
removing the frame, scanning it and then reversing the process
just seemed too much like hard work
This is my Dad and this is I - just long before I married anyone
My Dad is alive and well (as far as I know) so I know for that I am blessed.
He lives in Ireland and I haven't seen him since just after my wedding day
four or so years ago.
We haven't fallen out, although my parents have separated.
Dad has just voluntarily faded out of the family picture.
He doesn't do communication very well.
Apparently that's acceptable if you're middled aged, male and Irish.
I honestly can't remember the last time I spoke to him, but I do remember sensing that he felt awkward.

My Mum, sister and brother all live in Ireland too, but we chat and manage to be a lot more than just related strangers. My gorgeous sister has flown halfway around the world - not once, but twice, to be with her nephew/godson.

I feel sad that Magoo doesn't know "dat guuy" who would be a fantastic Grandad.
"Dat guuy" builds with tools, raises greyhounds and tells lame jokes- Magoo would loooove that. I feel sad for Dad, because I love the beautiful relationship that my father in law has with his granboys. Magoo idolises his grandad, as do his cousins. Gorgeous Grandad who tears up after a few drinks, looks at the boys and says "wouldn't be dead for quids".
Doesn't my Dad get that?

He really was a wonderful, involved, fun, singing, drumming, active, shouty, sweary, social, fix anything Dad, my Dad.
I thought he was the bees knees, the ducks nuts & every other nature reference. 
So, when I indulge myself and allow a little bit of 'woe time' I feel a real loss.
Then I feel guilty because hey - I'm not middle aged or male - so maybe I should be pushing myself and my little family on him.
Is it my bad??

Anywho, if you see my Dad please pass on the message...
 I love you Dad and would love Magoo to have the chance to love you too.
Shar :-)


Melissa Jane said...

I hope you have been able to get closer to your Dad somehow. He sounds like a great Dad and of course, a great Grandad.

danneromero said...

hi. i found you on 'and then there were four'.... i too am passionate about family, teach, and am maintaining physical activity regularly in my life...
a marathon? i am impressed.. someday, i tell myself... someday...

Charis said...

Oh, I really hope that at some point you are able to build bridges with your dad x

Janelle said...

I'm sorry to hear this is your situation with your Dad, has it changed since you originally wrote this?
I think you should have a go at contacting him, it sounds like you really want to, and what have you got to lose?
Visiting from Weekend Rewind

MultipleMum said...

Such a sad story Shar (I always try to remember to read your blog in my best Irish accent but doubt that I do you any justice). Keep badgering away at him. I reckon he will eventually make the effort. Thanks for Rewinding (am running late with comments!) x