Whoze Dat Guuuy?

Magoo is nearly two and a half.

He is the single biggest achievement in my life (maybe only until I kick that marathon's butt! kidding) and the other morning he looked up at a wedding photo of my Dad and I.

He pointed up and said "Mummy, whoze dat guuuy?".

I nearly cried. Lie. I did cry.

Didn't get married in a pink jacket & scarf  in a tiny Irish pub
but taking the wedding photo down,
removing the frame, scanning it and then reversing the process
just seemed too much like hard work
This is my Dad and this is I - just long before I married anyone

My Dad is alive and well (as far as I know) so I know for that I am blessed.

He lives in Ireland and I haven't seen him since just after my wedding day

four or so years ago.

We haven't fallen out, although my parents have separated.

Dad has just voluntarily faded out of the family picture.

He doesn't do communication very well.

Apparently that's acceptable if you're middled aged, male and Irish.

I honestly can't remember the last time I spoke to him, but I do remember sensing that he felt awkward.

My Mum, sister and brother all live in Ireland too, but we chat and manage to be a lot more than just related strangers. My gorgeous sister has flown halfway around the world - not once, but twice, to be with her nephew/godson.

I feel sad that Magoo doesn't know "dat guuy" who would be a fantastic Grandad.

"Dat guuy" builds with tools, raises greyhounds and tells lame jokes- Magoo would loooove that. I feel sad for Dad, because I love the beautiful relationship that my father in law has with his granboys. Magoo idolises his grandad, as do his cousins. Gorgeous Grandad who tears up after a few drinks, looks at the boys and says "wouldn't be dead for quids".

Doesn't my Dad get that?

He really was a wonderful, involved, fun, singing, drumming, active, shouty, sweary, social, fix anything Dad, my Dad.
I thought he was the bees knees, the ducks nuts & every other nature reference. 
So, when I indulge myself and allow a little bit of 'woe time' I feel a real loss.

Then I feel guilty because hey - I'm not middle aged or male - so maybe I should be pushing myself and my little family on him.

Is it my bad??

Anywho, if you see my Dad please pass on the message...
 I love you Dad and would love Magoo to have the chance to love you too.
Shar :-)