Friday, April 13, 2012

Grateful For...Flexibility. It's Contagious, You Know.

Just yesterday, I was a-pondering on the way to my new role at work.
Thinking about how much this motherhood caper has taught me in the past few years.
How much my perspective has changed and my reactions have mellowed.
How my habit of catastrophising events or issues has slowly subsided over the past three years.
How I can actually be flexible in all areas of my life - internally and not just on the surface.

I'm not entirely sure whether this taming of my rigid, irrational self is really due to the mummyness factor.
It could well be put down to aging, marriage, the craziness of my work life in the past two years, greater faith, recent tragedies that put things in perspective or just plain fatigue.

But these thoughts were part of a silent prayer that I will cope with whatever this little one within my belly throws my way. That I won't punish myself with unrealistic expectations and let anxiety dictate my days - or those looooong nights -  this time around.

Then Hubby's company decided to drive the point home for me yesterday afternoon.
He lost his job.
Pretty much out of the blue.
The company is folding.

Obviously, my initial reaction began with "what the..."
We won't go into where that sentence went next.
But I was amazed by the sense of calm that followed immediately after.

It's not ideal.
By a long stretch.
The timing is terrible.

But I (finally, honey) have such trust in my husband.
He will fall on his feet.
He always has.
(And no amount of panic or ranting on my part has ever made one bit of difference to that.)

He's not too proud to work hard for a dollar and he will do what he can to support us.
He was lining up job interviews within thirty minutes of telling me yesterday.
We will do what we need to.
Whatever that entails.

This time four years ago, I spent much of my pregnancy with Magoo awake at night budgeting and stressing about how we would manage financially, among other things.
So, so, so many things!
This time around, we face going down to not just one income again, but possibly none - and I slept soundly last night.

I'm so grateful for the place that my boys have brought me to.
It's quite lovely here in the land of 'contentment'.
There's this deep seeded feeling (that may well turn out to be foolish ignorance!!) that nothing can truly destroy us.
That we'll be okay and we'll have each other regardless of what's happening outside of that.
That if 7.30pm finds the three of us (and a tiny one) snuggling on a single bed - then how can it not have been a good day?
It's a bit like a semi-permanent 'I just enjoyed a glass of wine in the afternoon sun' buzz - without the wine in the sun part.
(See, Mr. Bank Manager? Not scared. Not one bit.)

I quite like this person he encourages me to see/be.
It's like I've married my very own chill pill.
 Linking with Maxabella's 52 Weeks of Grateful.
Shar :-)


SportyMummy said...

I just love your attitude! Motherhood has changed me so much too. I think it has made me the person I am today! I believe everything happens for a reason...there may just be a fantastic opportunity waiting just around the corner!!

Bron said...

Lovely post and all the best with the next leg of your journey...removing the anxiety will definitely fair you well xx

Bubby Makes Three said...

I love that you are so positive about such a stressful situation... and the fact that you have so much faith in your hubs. It's this confidence and positivity and go-getter-girl about you that makes ME confident it will all work out just fine for you all. :) xx

Anna @ green tea n toast said...

What a great outlook you have. I get such a strong sense from your blog that you are one of life's very happy, positive people. Lovely!
Sorry to hear about your hubby's job - but I'm sure he'll find something soon enough. And in the meantime, keep cooking that baby good :)

Mama of 2 boys said...

That's the approach Shar, positive all the way. Stand strong in the face of adversity, because... you can!
I totally get what you are saying here, because the past 4 or so years have mellowed me somewhat too. I'll always have a stress head side to me, but so many things don't even scratch the surface with me anymore... because I know, just like you said here, that things will work out eventually.
I'm sure hubby will have something lined up before you even know it. Hugs xoxo

Maxabella said...

Shar, this is amazing! I'm so sorry your husbie lost his job, but I believe you - you're all gonna be ok! Bless his hard working nature and calmness. And bless your support and positivity. All okay. x

Kylie @ Octavia and Vicky said...

Visiting you from Bron's Gratefuls, I'm sorry to hear about your husbands job. Your positivity is refreshing and inspiring.

Nat - Muddy Farmwife said...

Fantastic attitude Shar, so wonderful that you are focused on the silver lining and the positives.

Fingers crossed for some good job opportunities for hubby too.

Misha - TheBlingBuoy said...

Your sense of calm and optimism are inspiring. I hope that things turn around soon on hubby's job front. :)

Seana Smith said...

Love this, nothing is either all good or all bad, and we often can't tell what things might come out of something. But being calm, accepting and flexible is an amazingly useful set of great habits, life skills, and the trio will get you so far. Glad you feel relaxed, it'll help you all so much, especially the tiny wiggly one.

Posie Patchwork said...

Fabulous attitude, i totally agree. So often my husband will come home with insane news from promotion to war to proposed postings to far north WA . . . no amount of panic or jumping to conclusions will help the drama. Well done, love Posie

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh & good luck to your husband!! Love Posie

Miss Mandy said...

Sorry to hear that he lost his job. but hard workers are hard to come by these days, I too believe if his hard working he'll be snapped up in no time. Goodluck.

Jane said...

Oh Shar, you darling girl. You know how much I *get* where you're at. Thank goodness for our resilient and resourceful husbands. I hope the job hunting is swift and rewarding. Sending you a huge Hobart ♥ tonight. J x