Those Tables Have Turned

When Hubby and I began our relationship I was (affectionately, right guys?) known to my friends as LMI - Little Miss Independent.

I lived on my own, I took care of myself.

I did the dirty jobs and the braved the creep crawlies.

My family all lived overseas.

I didn't need anyone.

I was highly social, loved my job, kept my own hours and was in control of pretty much everything in my life.

When I met my Hubby, I was fresh from a toxic relationship and reluctant to get invoIved with anyone.

I resisted committing and wouldn't even use the word 'boyfriend' for ages!

When we were dating, Hubby (to be) would usually arrive at my place earlier than we had arranged - often getting there before me. The sweetheart would be waiting to open the garage door for me and start enquiring about my day immediately.

So sweet.

So suffocating to someone like me.

I can remember one evening that he arrived at my place and casually popped his lunch for work the following day in my fridge.

I had a mild panic attack as I hadn't invited him to stay at mine.

If I recall correctly, he sensed my uncomfortable 'moment', we had words and he left!

So innocently done.

So suffocating.

When we finally moved in together, Hubby was a part time shift worker.

He would often race out to the car like an excited puppy when I returned from work and carry my bags in.

So cute.

So suffocating.

Fast forward a few years and a couple of babies.

Cue about 5 pm on a weekday.

I'm haaaaanging for Hubby to get home.

I can't wait to have him to talk to, to laugh with, to share the load.

I'm that puppy dog waiting impatiently for him, tongue just about hanging on the floor.

By 5.30pm I'm texting "How far???? xxx"

So pathetically needy.

So suffocating - for poor Hubby.

Around the time that my uterus became viable real estate, I lost that LMI tag.

All of a sudden, Hubby's travel-heavy job wasn't so tolerable anymore.

All of a sudden, Hubby's paddling and training time seemed to go forever.

All of a sudden, I felt that I not just wanted, but needed someone.

When Magoo was a few weeks old, I actually literally begged Hubby not to go away for a couple of weeks.

I pleaded, I cried, I threatened divorce...

He went anyway and I fell apart behind closed doors.

Four years later, baby number two is on the scene and again I dread the thought of him being away for more than a night.

Even typing that makes my eyes well with self hate.

I mourn the loss of Little MIss Independent sometimes.

Until I remember that she has been replaced with Mrs Strong

- because even though I adore having my Hubby around and depend on him more than ever,

I have accomplished and withstood things that I didn't think possible in the last four years.

Back in the good 'ol days - pre needy!

 That woman checking the driveway like a lunatic from 5.30pm everyday is still capable and competent.

She still takes care of herself - but also three others.

Now she's a wife and mother. Dependant and depended upon.

Do babies make you vulnerable too?

Do you hang for 'Hubby home time'?

Shar :-)

A Good Baby?

Since having Missi, I've noticed that many, many people like to ask

 "is she a good baby?"

Do they mean is she settled? Happy? Healthy?

Or are they asking if she is generous, loving, accepting, supporting various charities and in favour of equal opportunity?

What exactly do 'good' babies do?

Humanitarian work?

And are they 'good' babies - as opposed to 'bad' babies?

'Bad' babies then - are they nasty, vindictive, selfish, conniving little ones

- plotting our demise from their cots?

I think not.

I know that people don't mean anything with their innocent question.

My defensiveness on this one actually comes from years ago and not from my experiences with Missi.

She is what people would term one of those 'good' babies

- she's generally chilled, has few health issues and is sleeping relatively well for her age.



I good girl!! :-)



Magoo, on the other hand, was not.

Any of these things.

Magoo was a sick little man, in pain a lot of the time.

He cried. A lot.

He had colic, reflux, a hernia, a floppy larynx, oversized adenoids, sleep apnoea, a dairy allergy....

I guess that made him a 'bad' baby and I guess that why my mummy feathers get ruffled by such a simple question.

Bad boy, bad boy - whatcha gonna do?

I'm the first to admit that Magoo and I travelled a bumpy path in those first few months of his life.

A path that led to far too many waiting rooms, specialists suites and hospitals.

But, I can't stand having him labelled as a 'bad' baby.

Tears spring at the thought.

But then, the Harry Hypocrite that I am now tells Mr. Magoo that he is a 'good' kid, a 'good' boy, a 'good' sort constantly!

Did you have 'good' or 'bad' bubs?
Why do we love labels so much??

Shar :-)

Point + Shoot : Lifestyles Of The Young & Blameless

Oh to be four!

The highlights of this weekend for me were in seeing Magoo  live it up.

Whilst most of my time was spent 'behind the scenes' or juggling the rest of the family's needs

- grocery shopping, cleaning, feeding the troops, preparing, planning and parenting mostly solo

- his was spent in the moment.

With swimming lessons,  a trip to the beach, midday naps,

a neighbourhood progressive dinner, a school fete and an afternoon under the sprinklers

- this boy's weekend was a beauty, if you ask me.

It's so satisfying to reflect and take stock of just how enjoyable his childhood is.

I may not be a 'Supermum', a glamour queen or a domestic goddess  -

but I like to think that I shine at putting my heart into making simple 'Magoo memories'.

He isn't indulged and I'm (apparently too) strict -

but I want nothing more than for Magoo (and Missi) to look back on his (her) childhood with so much to smile about.

In fact, I want that for every child.

What age would you choose to be?

Linking with Lou's Point + Shoot

Shar :-)

Grateful For... Abundance

So, you know you're pretty damn fortunate when you can't put together a grateful post.

I'm struggling this week - not because of a lack of material, but because I don't know where to begin.

This week has brought about a lot of clarity for me.

It's as though I can see so clearly how blessed I am right now.

I'm so grateful for so many elements in my life and lifestyle.

Despite the lack of sleep, painful wrists or that stupid pool leak - I have no complaints.

I really don't.

Many people would give anything to be up in the night, needed by their own beautiful child.

People would give their right hand to have my hormonally stuffed and inflamed, baby holding dodgy right hand.

There are people who dream of having a place to call home and maintenance issues to roll their eyes over.

I could whack up a grateful post or 50 today - with so many different aspects of each day to be grateful for.

Our life is busy - in all the best ways -  and is filled with beautiful people.

Magoo is constantly amazing me with his gorgeous nature and the way he has embraced big brotherhood.

I am literally bursting with pride and love - and feel I can't convey to him enough just how appreciated he is.

That little girl of mine  - and her light up my day (or night) smile - is just a gift.

A sweet, warm gift of bliss!!

Hubby and I are in a good place 

- uniting in our parenting and slowly managing to push our relationship higher up on the priorities list around here.

I look around (deliberately ignoring the state of the floors) and marvel at how I arrived at this point

- how lucky I am to be the 'Mum' and the 'wife' in this family.

But I really should get this 'Mum' and 'wife' backside behind that vacuum

- unfortunately the privilege comes with responsibilities too!

What are you feeling all lucky punk about today?

Linking with Maxabella Loves' 52 Weeks of Grateful - 'cause I can.

Shar :-)

I Heart My Body 2012

I have a million plus reasons not to tip tap this post - to ignore today.

The timing's wrong.

I've just had a baby.

I'm carrying extra weight.

I have a fresh scar below the Missi belly there.

My breasts weren't best - again.

Right now, I need to wee pretty much permanently.

My wrist is in a splint.

My eyes are carrying excess baggage....

Hubby looooves this 'lingerie' - honest!! :-)

I could go on, but is there really anything more boring than us women banging on

about how ugly/fat/useless/dysfunctional/ _____ / _____ our bodies are??

Instead, I want to celebrate this here bod-ay.

This body that has carried and given life to two gorgeous children.

This body that my Hubby doesn't judge or criticise - but literally embraces.

This body that can run, baby.

It's only been two weeks since I resumed a running program

- and if I may say so - I'm damn pleased with the way my body has responded.

I finally believe that I am a runner.

I must be.

That first run felt natural and refreshing.

I managed over 4km non stop fairly easily - and only stopped out of caution.

Each run since, I have run faster, longer and stronger.

When I am running, I forget all the flaws and failings of my body.

I feel powerful and proud.

And so damn fortunate.

Go on, love your body.

Not for how it looks but for what it manages to accomplish.

The one you have today - not the one you want 'someday'.

I give you permission.

Shar :-)

What's With People?

For two days on the trot now,
I have been subjected to people on my doorstep because of this here blog.

I've been the victim of yet another facet to this business

- the business of putting it out there on the world wide web.

When I began writing my rubbish in this space,
I didn't anticipate that I would fall prey to this kind of response

- but I guess it's the risk you take when you click 'publish'.

Now I'm paying the price.

I like to call them not 'trolls',
but 'skags'  - Super Kind And Generous Souls.

Two ridiculously generous, completely unexpected and thoughtful parcels in two days

- from two amazing women that I have met and befriended out here in cyberspace.

The trauma of it all.

:-)

On Monday, Jane of Life On Planet Baby  surprised me with a beautiful parcel filled with clothing

handed down from her gorgeous India to my Missi and a lovely handmade piece too.

Julie from Mama Of 2 Boys then continued to floor me when I received yet another parcel today.

Hers bearing a selection of her beautiful creations

- handmade with my children (and Irish heritage) in mind.

I'm delighted to share that both of these fabulous bloggers have recently
taken the leap and started their own businesses.

I'm embarrassed to share that both their sites are bookmarked on my computer 
and were awaiting that moment in time when I could peruse and purchase without distraction.

Jane's Etsy shop 'Planet Joy' can be found here

Julie's Made It venture 'Button Tots' can be found here.

The mushy tears of gratitude and disbelief can be found here  - on my cheeks.
As I responded to Jane yesterday - people like her and Julie make me want to be a better person.

Thank you beautiful Skags - from the bottom of my heart.

 

Have you been targeted by Skags of the blogosphere too?

 

Shar xx

Point + Shoot : Weekend Wins



After a week of feeling like I was on a bit of a losing streak

(boo hoo - poor me - suck it up Mrs!!!),

this weekend was the perfect win.

I didn't come into a large sum of cash - or even a tiny one.

I didn't cross any finish lines triumphant - or even exhausted.

But this weekend let me have some nice little wins that have refreshed body, mind and soul.

It doesn't take much to turn things around...

A return to smoother night feeds (and cuddles) with the bub.

A run. Or two.

Less tears and more smiles - from all of us.

Time to actually talk to my Hubby.

A long awaited swim school accomplishment for Magoo.

Extra cute Missi smiles.

My new favourite sleeping bag on sale.

Drinks with neighbours and friends.

Sunshine.

The freshest turkish bread ebber from our local bakery.

Finally washing that poor smelly dog.

Genuine belly laughs.

Welcoming another new bubby into the family.

Both children napping at the same time during the day. Twice.

An afternoon in sunny wine country with friends...

Thank you weekend.

I look forward to when we next meet again.

How was yours?

Linking with Lou's Point + Shoot

Shar :-)